Finding ‘Me Time’ Isn’t Easy, but Necessary
So many of us are guilty of overcommitting. You promised two sets of friends you will go to brunch this weekend, but you also need to catch up on laundry and put aside me time, all while being in a relationship. (Even writing that last sentence was stressful.) And the fact is, you are just one person. While you can do it all, you don’t have to do it all in a day.
The idea of prioritizing seems easy, but turning down those you love is never easy. However if someone is truly your friend, they will understand you have more going on in your life than going out every weekend. And with your romantic relationship, your partner should know you have other loved ones, and that they need to share you. They don’t need to join you at everything you do — sometimes you just want friend time or better yet, alone time.
But again, that is easier said than done. So how to do convey this without sounding inconsiderate or misunderstood? It is all about transparency and delivery. You need to cut the bullshit from the source — YOU.
Reflect on what you need to ensure your own mental health and happiness. Once you organize and scale back, you will have a better sense of direction. From there you just need to deliver your thoughts to your partner and loved ones.
This shouldn’t be some one-time, intense talk. Instead, it needs to be consistent. If your friends ask you to do something, let them know you need time to think about it before committing. If you can make it great, if not no big deal. With your partner, be open about your plans and let them know when you want them there or not. We all need girl or guy time, or just flat out me time. It is normal! Just be sure to convey these needs in a clear manner.
If your life seems a mess and you are trying to make it less hectic but you don’t know where to start, literally make a list. What are the five things you need to focus your attention on right now? This list is ever-changing, and things will move up and down. But writing it out from time to time will help you to see it more clearly. Cut out anything that doesn’t add to your life. Put things on the back burner that don’t need immediate action.
Obviously you should plan for future events, but don’t stress the small stuff. Live in the now, and share these thoughts with your loved ones so they are on the same page. It sucks to bail on your loved ones. But if they know what is going on, they will get it. Don’t lie and be straight up.
Life gets harder as your get older because you have more responsibilities, and everyone gets that. Just vocalize that, and those who actually care about you will get it. Those who don’t and demand your 24/7 attention will stick out like a sore thumb. And that is how you know who is really there for the long haul and who is not.
If someone loves you, they will want you to be your best self. And that best self is only possible with self-care. So don’t stress about hurting anyone’s feelings. Just be open about it, and you can scale back together. When you do hangout and commit to things, you will be able to be your best self and be there in the moment, not have your mind elsewhere. Isn’t that better in the long run?