Do You Embrace or Fear Next Steps?
We often get comfortable in our relationships. A little too comfortable. It is not a bad thing, but it could lead to complications or speed bumps of sorts.
When we are comfortable in a relationship, change is not only unwelcome, but it is terrifying. Everything is going great now, but mixing in an engagement, marriage or kid can shake things up — good or bad. Should we be scared of change and the unknown? The easy answer is no. You should embrace it and live in the moment. But this is much easier said than done.
As you get older, your friends grow up around you. They get enraged, married and pregnant, and all of this is so exciting. All this news makes you so happy that you cry. But at the same time, it may cause a little anxiety as you reflect on your own life and relationship status.
If you experience this, you aren’t alone. People feel this all the time, and it is usually just a little bump in the road. Talk to your partner about these feelings. It is normal to not want to “grow up” and be fearful of the unknown. Adulting is hard, and change can be hard to handle. But if you are open with your partner, he or she will know it is not them but your own internal fears. And once they know that, they can be here for you and offer support.
However some people don’t share their concerns and inner conflicts, and that is the worst case scenario. If you do that, then you may start to withdraw from your relationship without even knowing. You can become afraid of the future so much that you reject next steps and stay stagnant. While it can be easy to fall into this, try to avoid this at all costs. Be open, be transparent, be you. Your partner will love you for you and all your insecurities too.
Making any next major move in your relationship is a big deal, but it doesn’t mean your old life disappears. Just because you get engaged doesn’t mean you lose your friends. And just because you become a mom doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun. You change everyday in life, and not all change is bad. It is just different. Everyone experiences change in some way, good or bad.
Embrace change and take the next step when you are ready. Don’t feel rushed because everyone else is. Take your time and take on change with arms wide open. Life is worth living through the good and bad, so takes chances, make mistakes and live. Growing up isn’t easy, but it sure can be a ton of fun if you embrace it.
Editor’s note: This is Christina’s last weekly column for DC on Heels. She has been giving relationship advice to our readers since August 2014. In that time, she graduated from James Madison University, got her first full-time job in D.C. and now works for a public relations company in New York City, where she lives with her boyfriend. We wish her luck and look forward to reading her occassional contributions here.