Testing Your Partner’s Patience
Couples enjoy doing things together. They often share mutual hobbies or find new things they like to do together. But we each have our own things that are totally ours. Maybe your significant other is a big sports fan. Or you are into celebrity gossip and pop culture, which they could care less about.
Whatever it is, you are entitled to your own interests that your partner may or may not share. Either way, they should respect your love of it, and let you and that interest have your own time together. But the issue that arises is when you try to make your partner love what you love and they resist.
What comes to mind as an example? Let’s say shopping. If you are a big shopper and enjoy going frequently, you probably want to bring your significant other from time to time. And while your partner shouldn’t moan and groan about it, they do have their limits. If you are an extreme shopaholic and take “too long,” you are bound to argue at some point about wasting their time or you wasting you money. And the money talk can get personal because it is an awkward subject in relationships.
My boyfriend and I have had our fair share of shopping induced fights, but I like to think things have gotten better because I have learned the following:
Offer an incentive!
For some, this is offering to buy dinner or a snack after a long day of shopping. Others are more inclined to make a sexy offer if their partner follows along throughout the shopping day with no complaints. Whatever it is, get creative and switch it up so your partner doesn’t get bored or used to one thing. That way he or she actually looks forward to this hobby you love oh-so-much, and you avoid conflict.
If your partner is fine following you around and being in the mall with you, that is great. But everyone has their limit. Learn what your partner’s limit is and talk about it. Maybe they are fine shopping for two hours, but anymore than that they start to nag. If that is the case, keep that in mind and try to set two hours as your goal. That way your partner shouldn’t complain if your stick to your promise, and you can shop in peace.
Just go alone
If your partner is just not one to enjoy shopping at all, avoid he conflict all together and let him or her stay home or do his or her own thing. Yes, you love each other and want to do everything together, but why bother stirring up a fight for no reason? Honestly, time apart doing your own thing is healthy, so just enjoy what you do and see them at home where they will be more happy and thank you for not dragging them along.
It is great to have shared hobbies, but if you and your partner have some different interests, that is totally normal. Shopping trips often lead to a huge fight because one person gets frustrated, and the other doesn’t understand why. So set some ground rules to avoid unnecessary friction in your relationship.