Is Timing Everything?
One of my best friends got engaged this week and all of us girlfriends are thrilled for her. But at the same time, we are left thinking — what about us? Anytime we see our friends or people we know get engaged, married or have kids, we are all guilty of wondering if we are falling behind and trying to decipher if we should be doing the same thing.
Reality is no. You are not behind. Everyone does things at their own pace. Maybe you are the person who get married at 23 or maybe you are the one that waits until 33. Whatever the case may be, you should do it at your own time so its special for both you and your partner.
Don’t want to rush your partner, but you do want a sense of a timeline? There is nothing wrong with that. It is nice to get a sense of direction to see if you and your partner are on the same page. For starters, if you are not on the same page then it gives you a chance to address it and see if you will ever be.
There are plenty of couples where one initially never wanted to get married. Maybe they come from a family of divorce or don’t see the point, but that doesn’t mean they don’t believe in love. So if you were to just address these issues and talk them out, then you would both be able to make compromises and hopefully get an idea of your next steps. Or, worst case scenario, you realize your relationship is at a standstill where one has to give in or you both get out. Either way, you would probably want to know, so addressing this helps in the long run.
On a lighter note, if you talk it out, it can set a positive tone for your relationship. It lets both of you open up about how and when you would like it to happen, which is exciting. Plus, just knowing your partner is on the same page will reassure you that you are in a good place together.
Now you can choose to speak specifics or just have a broader conversation. It can be as deep as “I want it to happen in the summer with all my girlfriends there” or as simple as “I just want it to happen while I am 27.”
In the end, just know it is not a race. Be happy for your friends who are making incredible leaps in life and look forward to what is ahead in your own. Putting too much pressure on something this big takes part of the fun and excitement out of it all. So just check if you are on the same wavelength and enjoy the ride.