Is It Time to Pause and Refresh Your Game?

Recently, I chatted with a single friend that told me she wasn’t going to bother “looking” for the right guy anymore. In the past few months, she had gone on dates and talked to a few guys, but none of them were that great. They all seemed to have tricks up their sleeves or spit a lot of game, but fell flat.

Sometimes you need to focus on you and love will follow. (Photo: Klaus Tiedge)

I totally supported her, and even told her this may be for the best. Let’s face it, sometimes good things happen when you least expect it. This isn’t just a cheesy cliche. For a while, I dated around and didn’t find anyone really worthwhile. But as soon as I stopped, I stumbled upon my current boyfriend of four years. My friend is now experiencing similar luck.

After taking a break — let’s call it a dating sabbatical — she is experiencing a new high in her dating game. All of a sudden, very eligible bachelors are coming after her without her even trying. From meeting people through mutual friend outings to just picking up lunch and hitting it off with a random guy, she is seriously killing it.

So what does this mean? Do we all need a dating sabbatical from time to time? Here are a few reasons a break is necessary from time to time:

Stress

Stress and love don’t mix well together. You can only image dating and stress isn’t a good mix either. If you are too stressed about finding “the one,” you are more likely to get into your own head and psych yourself out to the point that you just want to give up. Giving up and willingly taking a break are two very different things. Giving up means you can’t deal with the stress and you have abandoned ship, which is not a mentality you want to have. A simple break from dating is a choice that means you are open to love, but you are letting it come to you. This is a good option for those who are too stressed to think straight. Sit back and let love find you. Don’t let it consume your life.

False expectations

After looking around for too long, you need to stop and reevaluate what you are looking for. Are you too picky? Are you not willing to compromise? Are you shutting out perfectly good candidates? You need to be honest with yourself and really evaluate yourself. It is great to have certain qualities you look for in someone, but it is another thing to wish for the perfect cookie cutter guy because he doesn’t exist.

Hopelessness

If you are actively looking for a significant other and have no luck, it is natural to start to feel a little down on yourself. But, one thing you should never be is hopeless. If this is your mentality, you will become a walking self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are trying to find someone great, you need to exemplify your best qualities. It is very easy to notice someone who is hopeless and half-assing love. While you may be skeptical at times, try to be hopeful and actually give dating your best effort. In the dating game, you get what you put out.

If you are looking for quality not quantity, take a break and let love find you. (Photo: Hill Street Studio)

Everyone needs a break every now and then. We are human. We get tired and feel like giving up from time to time, but that is not the solution. Sometimes you just need to push pause and refresh. You want to be your best you before bringing a new person in your life. Plus, confidence is sexy. If you are lacking it, take a break to recoup and let good things come your way naturally. It is scary letting go of control, but sometimes a break does the body and heart good.