Talk About It Before Moving In Together
If you are serious with someone special, prepare to reach many milestones throughout your relationship. Of course there is establishing you want to be monogamous and then the infamous “I love you” exchange. As time goes on, your relationship could maybe lead to an engagement, a wedding and a couple babies. Note I said maybe. You can have many serious relationships throughout your life without any of them every leading to a forever together. And throughout these serious relationships, the topic of moving in together might jump up from time to time.
While some people are stuck on the idea of waiting to move in with someone after marriage, I kindly disagree. There are so many lessons you can learn from simply living with a person, that pre-martial counseling could never prepare you for. It is kind of like testing out the car before you buy it. The car could be really pretty from a far, but you will never guess it is a mess inside without getting in.
If you consider moving in with a significant other, here are a few things to evaluate and check off before moving forward:
Why so serious?
If you want to move in with your significant other, pause for a second and ask yourselves why? Is it for financial reasons or because you’re trying to test out if there’s a future together? Or are you bored and figured why not? There is no right reason because every couple is different, but you do want to make sure you and your partner’s reasons match. If not, you may be in trouble. Just imagine if your reason for moving in together is to hopefully get engaged whereas your partner’s reason is to simply make rent cheaper. Clearly, one person is going to be upset while the other will be taken off guard if this were to happen. Avoid this awkward situation and just be open with your significant other before making any official commitment.
Before you even think about moving in together, sit down and talk money. Do you plan on splitting rent in half? Who’s name is going on the electric bill? What happens if one person is late paying? All these questions and more are really important to talk about to avoid unnecessary stress. It is better to be over prepared in this situation than under. No one likes to argue over money, and if things get rocky, it can leave a detrimental impact on your relationship as a whole.
Are you thinking about moving in together because you just think it’s the next step? If that’s a case, you can take a step back and reevaluate your reasoning. There’s no set time to move in together. It is not like “Oh it’s been two years, it’s time.” If that were the case there would be a lot more couples breaking their leases to get out of a bad living situation. For some people it can be six months, while for others it can be five years. It just depends on the couple and their situation. Regardless of how long you choose to wait, make sure you sit down and have a serious conversation about how you envision your living situation. That way you both know what to expect of each other and try to work things out for the best possible outcome.
Before signing on the dotted line…
If you choose to move in with your significant other, cheers to you. This has the potential to be a great step in your relationship if you are both on the same page. Make sure you talk everything out before signing anything. And if moving in together is not an option, you can still test the waters by going on vacation together and seeing if you can stand each other for more than a week. Either way, there is no pressure or right time to do so. Do what feels right, because that will lead you to your happily ever after some day.