Knowing Your Hard Noes and Red Flags

Whether you watch it or not, thanks to Twitter we all seem to know what happens on The Bachelor every week. I am personally a fan of the drama, but if you don’t keep up, all you need to know for this week is that one contestant got super mad that the bachelor loosely lied to her.

Sometimes a red flag is a sign things won’t work. (Photo: monkeybusiness/Deposit Photos)

For some background, he promised the winners of a group date an invite to an after party. He ended up feeling bad and invited everyone instead. One woman seemed to over exaggerate and refused to join the after party because she felt lied to. On screen, it just looked like she wanted extra attention and took everything too far, but did she?

We all have our hard noes. Things we absolutely will not and can not stand for in a relationship. Perhaps one of her’s is lying? She might have been lied to in the past and does not want that in a partner moving forward. If that is the case, her reaction makes a little more sense.

The reason we have hard noes can stem from various things like previously mentioned or can come from bad past experiences with former flames. Or maybe it just doesn’t fit your “type” in your ideal partner.

If it isn’t going to work, maybe it isn’t worth pushing. (Photo: : Aleksandr Davydov/Alamy)

We also often see these noes as red flags. Someone can seem fantastic, but if they have one of these noes, is there any point in moving forward? It honestly depends. In some situations, it may be worth giving it a try. Someone may not be your type, but if you give them a chance, you may be surprised. Sometimes there isn’t an initial spark, but it can come later on.

However if something is a red flag because it completely goes against your core values, you may run into trouble. You never want to compromise your values, but you also don’t want to feel like you are completely changing your partner. While everyone changes a little in a relationship because you grow together, it is unhealthy to have either side of the party completely change who they are. And in that case, your relationship may not work out.

Everyone’s situation is different, but no matter what you choose to do stay true to yourself. If your friends think you are crazy for your hard noes, just stay true to you. What is important to you may not be important to someone else. So whether your hard no or red flag is different politcal views, lying, cursing or whatever, evaluate the situation to see if you can look past it. If you can, that is great. If you can’t, move on to the next one.