Do Cheaters Deserve Forgiveness?
Love is perfectly imperfect. You are going to have good days and bad. Compromise is essential, but completely changing who are you is not okay.
Worried your partner’s cheating? Confront the issue head on instead of creeping for clues. (Photo: Antonio Guillem/Shuterstock)
You can also expect obstacles will get in the way here and there. From arguments to grudges, you will learn to pick and choose your battles. But this doesn’t mean you give in if a huge conflict comes up. While white lies happen, other more serious lies can be detrimental. For instance, let’s take cheating. If you are lying about your whereabouts, what or who you are doing, then you are putting your relationship on the line.
For most people, cheating will break a relationship for many reasons. When you cheat, you break trust within your relationship. Even if you choose to forgive your significant other once, twice or a handfull of times, you will always feel a bit insecure and with legit reason. Plus, there is the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While this saying is true sometimes and false others, it can really take a toll on a relationship.
I personally can never forgive a serial cheater, but to each their own. What happens when you are not sure you are stuck with a cheat? Here are a couple ways to catch a cheat red handed;
Friends, stalkers, same thing
Let’s say you don’t have the heart to do the creeping, that Is no problem- Enlist your friends. With social media and the internet, practically anyone can learn anything about you in a matter of seconds. Even if you try to hide it, it is likely your secret will be out if you have a gang of girls stalking your profiles. So have your friends take a look. If you get a screenshot of your partner on a dating app or talking to another person, now you have proof when you confront them.
Be tech savvy
If you really want to be sneaky, download the “Find My Friends” app on your partner’s phone and your own. Is this the healthiest approach? Probably not, but it gets the job done. This way you know where he or she is and when they lie. It is toxic, but if they are actually cheating, you are already doomed so oh well.
Use your voice
When in doubt, just ask! Confront the situation headon and stop tiptoeing around the (potential) situation. If your signifiant other is being sketchy, let them and get answers. There is a chance your partner will still lie to your face, but this is your chance to call their bluff.
His wandering eyes may be a sign he is cheating. (Photo: Antonio Guillem/Shuterstock)
Some may argue that you can forgive a cheater. Maybe that is true. If your partner was taken advantage of, that is not his or her fault and not cheating. It is hard, but you can overcome that because it was not intentional and out of their control. But if it was intentional cheating, it will take effort from both parties to work things out.
Obviously the cheater has to stop cheating, but the other party needs to learn to forgive and build trust again if they have any hope of working things out. This is really hard, and frankly doesn’t work most of the time because there will always be doubt. But if you are willing to forgive and forget, there is a chance it was only a one-time thing. Then again, maybe you have never known and that is an option you have to weigh too. My advice- dump the cheat and upgrade.
Born and raised in Northern Virginia, Christina aspires to be a public relations professional in a big city after graduation from James Madison University. In her free time when she’s not blogging away about dating and relationships, Christina loves to go shopping, watch Netflix and play with every puppy that crosses her path.
