Accepting Change in Your Relationship
Change can be both bad and good. Naturally people change and evolve as we grow and gain more life experience. The same goes for relationships.
After dating someone for awhile, you will be faced with a few obstacles that require both parties to compromise and sometimes change is necessary to meet in the middle. But some people are very hesitant to change. They believe they shouldn’t change for their partner and they just need to accept them flaws and all.
Don’t get me wrong, your significant other should 100 percent love you for you, but don’t forget that change can also mean growth. So don’t go changing your core values or something that is near and dear to your personality, but if it is a positive change, it may just benefit your relationship and you as an individual.
Here are a few common areas partners try to change in their significant others from time to time. In these cases, the changes are meant to be positive, but can still be misconstrued.
Getting your act together
Some people truly believe “chivalry is dead,” including people in relationships. When you first start dating, everything is fine and dandy. But once you get comfortable, partners sometimes throw their manners out the door.
This can be frustrating because everyone loves the honeymoon phase of a relationship, but the true test is what comes afterwards. If you are not treating each other with kindness and respect, things are not going to fly.
If your partner asks for more acts of kindness from time to time, that just means they want to feel those initial butterflies again. Don’t take it as they are trying to control the way you act, they just want you to actually try. It is okay to get comfortable in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.
Keeping up appearances
Talking about getting comfortable, sometimes couples completely stop trying to keep up their appearance after awhile. It is the whole mentality that your significant other will love you no matter what, which is hopefully true and sweet, but this doesn’t mean you completely let loose forever. You still need to try without them having to remind you.
If your significant other does jump the gun and recommend you change the way you dress, this isn’t an insult. So many people would argue this is trying to change someone, but really they are just watching out for your best interest and genuinely letting you know what looks good on you. Don’t let your partner completely change your style, but take them up on a suggestion or try something new every now and then. Who knows, maybe you will love ditching cargo shorts for shorts with only two pockets. You never know until you try.
Communication is key, so don’t be surprised if your signifacant other asks you to start opening up more. They don’t want to force you to talk more, they just want you to learn to better express yourself, which isn’t a big demand.
Some people are naturally more quiet and to themselves, which is totally fine. No one is asking you to become a social butterfly, but you should be willing to communicate with your partner at the very least. If not, how do you expect to grow together?
Change isn’t always a bad thing. Growth is good. But keep in mind your core values. Don’t change who you are for any one if it is what makes you who you are. But, if it is a request to improve yourself and your relationship, by all means be your best you for yourself first and then your loved ones.