Falling in Love with Your Best Friend
Monday night was the dramatic season finale of The Bachelor. Our bachelor, Ben Higgins, was torn between Lauren Bushnell and JoJo Fletcher. In the end, Lauren won over Ben’s heart. While most of America congratulated the happy couple, a lot of #TeamJoJo fans were upset with the way he ended their relationship. They both exchanged love you’s and confessed they considered one another to be each other’s best friend. Ben claimed JoJo and he already had ups and downs so he knew they could overcome anything, where as Lauren and he had not gone through any turbulence, which concerned him. In the end he choose his effortless love with Lauren over his “real” love for JoJo.
Days have past, and I’m still upset. I’m afraid viewers everywhere are now reevaluating their love lives and wondering if they made the right choice. I want everyone to know that different types of love do exist, and not one fits any mold. In my opinion, it makes sense that Ben fell in love with two women in two different ways, because each women approached the relationship differently. Lauren was confident in what they had, but more passive in handling conflict. At one point, Ben was obviously upset, and she just stared and comforted him with words of reassurance. That’s not a bad thing if it works in their relationship. On the other hand, JoJo wanted to talk things out no matter how much it hurt. In that relationship, feelings were more raw and open. In the end, Ben chose one relationship, but that doesn’t mean one was better than another. One just suited him more.
While Lauren is great, effortless love isn’t for everyone. Here are a few things to look out for if you’d rather fall in love and become best friends too.
You are going to butt heads
If you have fallen in love and become best friends all in one, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. If you are comfortable and open enough with each other, expect some turbulence. Rather than hold back your feelings, you will most likely be brutally honest, which can sometimes hurt. On the bright side, once everything is out in the open you can find a way to resolve the problem together. These relationships tend to grow stronger because they are built on trust and open communication.
You are going to laugh, a lot
When you fall in love and that turns into a best friendship, you can expect a fun time. Since you are so comfortable with each other, you can be your true selves. That means you can be as silly and goofy as you want and then be serious and real the next. I consider my boyfriend and I best friends, and I know we both laugh all the time about the dumbest things, but can sit down and have real world conversations the next day.
You are going to have passion
Some people worry that falling in love with your best friend will cause a lack of passion. In reality, it is the opposite. You are so open with each other that you aren’t afraid to admit everything you do and do not like. You are not scared of correcting each other in the bedroom and trying new things.
Everyone has different love preferences. If you would rather have an easy, surface-level relationship, that is perfect if it makes you happy. If you like avoiding confrontation and pleasing each other all the time, that may be perfect for you. But if you don’t want to sacrifice showing how you feel and would rather be open, then a deeper relationship may be for you.
In these cases, expect passion and best friendship. But at the same time, there is a bigger risk. Some would rather play it safe to avoid getting hurt, because when you completely give yourself to another person you risk losing it all. In that case, you would lose a lover and best friend, which is why some choose not to go down that path. But all love is a gamble, and the higher you bet, the more you win. So take that risk and love without fear.