The How-To’s of Moving On
Happy endings aren’t for everyone. When the misfortune of a break up occurs, your emotions go through a whirlwind of confusion. Mad and sad seem to alternate frequently and the occasional break down is inevitable.
Everyone deals with break ups differently, but there is break up courtesy. I personally believe that however long the relationship was is how long you should wait to engage in another serious relationship. Granted, the severity of the relationship should also be a consideration. The reason I believe in this golden rule is that it truly allows you time to get over your ex. I hate it when people bounce in and out of new relationships. But to each their own. Some people cope by not ever really getting over it. Personally, I think it’s best to go through all the stages of grief and start fresh and new before moving on.
So whether you like to deal with your break up with time or you like to dive into something new, here are a couple rules to abide by to successively, but appropriately move on.
DO: When reentering the single life, dating may seem scary at first. Take your time, but know that dating is essential for moving on and reassuring yourself that you are in fact desirable. Download Tinder and go on a few awkward dates. Some may be hit or miss, but the realization that you are wanted does wonders for your ego. Also, do go out with friends and get free drinks at the bar. It’s a win-win, you potentially meet someone cute and worse case your tab is significantly lower.
DON’T: While having fun is essential post break up, don’t become a relationship whore. It’s cool to hook up with a couple randoms, but don’t jump from one relationship to another just to ease the pain.
DO: While you’re attempting to have fun post break up, feel free to let loose. Kiss attractive people and exchange numbers. If you choose to engage in a one-night stand, just make sure to use protection. You don’t want your fun, single life to be cut short with an unplanned surprise.
DON’T: While one-night stands are okay, don’t have one-night stands every day of the week. You can’t avoid grieving by getting laid by every random, decent person you meet. Sex should not be a coping mechanism. Sex is fun, but sex won’t hide the real pain you’re trying to avoid. Don’t use people, be selective with whom you bang.
DO: Wanting revenge is a natural feeling. Part of you wants to see your ex happy one day, and the other half wants to see them burn in hell. This feeling is completely normal. I think the best revenge is just to make them regret losing you in the first place. Look extra hot at all times, whether you run into your ex or not. People will notice and word will get around about how drop dead gorgeous you’re looking. Once your ex hears you look great, they will hate that you appear to be coping just fine.
DON’T: It’s not okay to actively destroy your ex’s life. It’s okay to creep on your ex on social media, but if you still know all their passwords, don’t ruin their online presence by putting up crazy statuses or messaging people. First, that’s not cool. And second, you lose future creeping abilities because they will obviously change their passwords after that.
Break ups are tough, but you will get over it. There’s no set time it takes because everyone grieves differently. Just keep your head high and look hotter than ever. Have fun and focus on being the best version of yourself. In time, your ex will be replaced by someone even better, and it will all be in the past. So until then, have fun with no regrets.