To Second Date or Not to Second Date
So you just met the most handsome potential suitor, and you are in awe. As soon as you score a first date, you begin eagerly planning your future wedding invitations. But what happens if your first date isn’t picture perfect? All of the sudden Prince Charming has questionable baggage that you’re not sure you can carry.
There’s no definite list of official deal breakers because people’s tolerance of the abnormal varies, but there are a few things that tend to be universally unacceptable. What are unacceptable traits to watch out for on your next date? I’ve narrowed down my list to three that I believe should apply to everyone and serve as major red flags.
1. Dead beats
You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. If you find someone who wants to better themselves that’s different, and you can work on that. But if you are dating an ex-convict who still commits crimes or a baby daddy that neglects their baby and baby mama, that’s a major red flag. People can change, but don’t waste your time if it’s an evident dead end.
2. Mr. Rude
You can tell a lot about your date by the way they treat your server at a restaurant. If your date is rude to your server for no reason, how will they treat someone they actually know when conflict hits the fan. This is something that can be fixed if it’s minor, but if someone is a complete ass on a first date that’s certainly a red flag. First dates are meant to be a time to impress your date and show off the best version of yourself. So if your date is flat out rude, it’s okay to not follow up with a second one.
3. Zero chemistry
Physical attractiveness eventually fades away, so what are you going to do when you are old and grey and there’s no other chemistry? There’s no way you can build a successful relationship if your chemistry is limited to nothing beyond skin deep. Emotional and mental chemistry is necessary for a relationship to survive and thrive throughout the ups and downs. On your first date, try to find similar interests and hobbies. See if your date and you have potential chemistry. If you realize you and your date have nothing in common by the end of the night, you should probably call it quits before false feelings begin to spark.
Despite my opinion, these red flags aren’t set in stone. Just like in life, there are always exceptions to the rules. But, they should be judged appropriately. Don’t convince yourself that you can change anyone if they are an obvious hopeless cause. But if you truly see potential, feel free to take on this challenge and let me know how it goes.