Is Love Worth the Change?
As we get older, relationships get more serious. Someone you would have casually dated in high school or college may not be worth someone you would be attracted to post-grad in the real world. But why is that? For starters, your taste can change over time. For some, they become less picky while others become more so. But one major factor is time. We just don’t have enough of it, and as adults we often find ourselves trying to be more conscious of it.
Work days are long, and days off fly by. When it comes to dating or settling down with someone, a lot more thought goes into it. Attractiveness and personality can still be deciding factors, but they are joined by profession, family, values and more. The list can truly go on depending on the person.
Let’s say someone finally does make it through your love barrier, and you are taking it slow for awhile. As your relationship blossoms, you get more attached and eventually start looking into a future together. But then, curveball — your partner gets promoted or gets a job offer they can’t refuse, but it is in a new state or even country.
Sure this is all a game of what-ifs, but what would you do? For many people, this has happened and they have decided to go their separate ways. But why give up on love? They are probably thinking logically. Maybe they evaluated their relationship, and realized it hasn’t been enough time together for such a big commitment. Or maybe the distance was unmanageable, and it was easier to call it quits upfront than postpone the inevitable.
No judgement either way, I think many times those who choose to end it did think it through and weigh all their options before moving on. But what about those who stay? Some would say good luck with low expectations, but I actually think moving together can be very successful if the couple is very transparent with each other.
So what does that mean? The most vital thing to keep in mind is communication. You have to lay it all out on the table. You need to discuss every scenario and have a somewhat plan in place. So if you have decided to move together, you have to discuss whether you are just moving together or moving in together. If your relationship is still pretty new, I recommend living apart intially to test the waters. That way you have your own time to explore the city, but you are close enough to adventure together when you want. Plus, if you never lived together in the first place, moving in together after moving together can be a lot of change at once. You are already in the same state, you don’t have to share a living space too. If moving together and living apart is for you, just talk it out beforehand so both parties are aware and onboard.
But let’s say you have already lived together or are both ready for that next step, then make a huge leap and move in together. Once again, you just need to talk out all the logistics such as rent, location and more preferences beforehand instead of waiting until the last minute.
Whether together or apart, if you are choosing to lift up your life and move to a new city, you should know it is going to be a big change. It won’t be all rosy, but as long as you are both honest with one another it will be a new chapter in your long love story. Best of luck and enjoy your adventure.
However, if you aren’t ready for so much change all at once, don’t worry. Long distance is always an option, and with dedication it can work. Who knows, maybe eventually you will move too or it won’t work out after all. Choose what works best for you as an individual first and then translate that into your relationship. You need to think about your job, family, friends and own future. Make sure to think things through and talk about it with your partner. Love will hopefully follow on your terms. If it doesn’t, you know that you at least tried and carefully thought it out. Best of luck and hopefully love wins!