When Is It OK to Date a Friend’s Ex?
There has been so much going on in the news this week, but one thing everyone can’t stop talking about is the latest Kardashian-Jenner drama. If you have been hiding under a rock, this is a quick rundown: Khloe Kardashian’s cheating baby daddy Tristian Thompson has struck again. This time he is allegedly cheating on her with sister Kylie Jenner’s BFF Jordyn Woods. We all know cheating is wrong, and dating someone your friend is/was seeing is wrong, but the combination is insane. It is unheard of except for on Maury or Dr. Phil. Khloe was not just a friend’s sister to Jordyn, but an actual friend, and in a sense part of the family. And you would think a family member’s significant other is off limits, but apparently not. The whole thing is a mess, and we still don’t have all the details.
We will have to wait and see if more is disclosed. But in the meantime, the issue of girl code needs to be addressed, or more generally, friend code. While guys try to act cool about sharing exes or being eskimo brothers, deep down it has got to hurt, especially if you received no courtesy heads up. Regardless man or woman, it sucks if your friend goes behind your back and hooks up with an ex-fling, but current significant others are absolutely off limits. If you do that, you are basically gambling your friendship, and no one will pity you if you get caught.
The moral of the story, do not hook up or flirt with your friend’s partner. They are completely off limits. And if you are innocent, but notice that your friend’s significant other is flirty towards you, you should be honest with your friend and let them know. If their partner is flirty with you, who knows what they are doing with complete strangers. It may be hard to do, but your friend will appreciate your honesty in the long run.
Current partners aside, let’s talk exes. It is typically taboo to date a friend’s ex, however there are some exceptions.
How long has it been since your friend and their ex broke up? How long did they date? All these things play a huge factor. If it is someone they dated in middle school, it is a huge difference from someone they recently dated in college or adulthood. Likewise, it they went one a few dates for a month or so, it is totally different than if they dated for years. Figure out all this information before pursuing anything with a friend’s ex.
How was their relationship? If this person was terrible to your friend, why would you want to end up with them? Sure, maybe they just weren’t a good match, and that may be a different story. But if they were straight up a bad partner, that is a red flag. If they cheated or were known to be a liar once, who is to say it won’t happen again with you?
How did the breakup happen? Did it go unresolved? Before embarking on a possible journey with your friend’s ex, you should make sure there isn’t anything left between them. The worst case scenario is that you become a fling that brings them back together in the end.
Despite all these factors, what matters most is the communication between you and your friend. It doesn’t matter how much you fancy their ex, your friendship should come first, so their blessing is vital. They may not be thrilled about it, but as long as you have their support, you can move forward with no struggles. But if there are still hard feelings, you may want to weigh your options and what matters most to you. At the end of the day, your friendship should matter the most and keeping that peace. Just be as transparent as possible, and talk to your friend. Their opinion matters, and its better to know early on rather than find out when it is too late and there is no going back.
Born and raised in Northern Virginia, Christina aspires to be a public relations professional in a big city after graduation from James Madison University. In her free time when she’s not blogging away about dating and relationships, Christina loves to go shopping, watch Netflix and play with every puppy that crosses her path.