Important Conversations in a Relationship
To be fair, there are multiple things that come to mind when you hear “the talk.” When you are a pre-teen it is about puberty. As a teenager, it is often out safe sex. But in the dating world, “the talk” can be anything from defining the relationship to making that big next step, whether it is becoming exclusive, exchanging I love yous or planning for the future.
The talks are endless, but if you are referring to something as “the talk,” it probably is a milestone in your dating status. These conversations are never easy to start, but they are essential to ensure your relationship can grow in the right direction.
For instance, if you are ready to settle down with the person you are dating and you initiate that talk, you will learn whether or not they are on the same page. If so that is great, but if not then you know it may be time to break things off and move on. Wile that is a scary thought, wouldn’t you rather know now than down the road?
Some would rather choose to ride the wave until they reach their relationship’s expiration date. If that is fine with you, so be it. But if you would like to see your relationship grow and ensure you and your partner are headed in the same direction, you are going to want to be open and communicate often. Don’t be afraid to talk about the future. You may not have everything planned out or even agree on anything, but at least if you talk about it, it is out there to work through. Sometimes it will lead to a deadend, but other times it can be a chance to talk things out together or even compromise.
If you aren’t afraid of these talks and know they will benefit your relationship in the long run, there are a few things you should know:
Be 100 percent honest
Here is the thing: Often times people will get comfortable in their relationships and try to fit a mold to keep things afloat. If that is the case, you are just digging yourself into a bigger hole of lies. If you want kids but say you don’t to appease your partner, you are only hurting yourself int he long run. Yes, there is compromise and meeting in the middle, but it is another thing to just lie to yourself and completely give in.
While you plan to speak your truth during these big conversations, so does your partner. And while it is not ideal, their truth may not be exactly what you want to hear. But if you want your partner to respect your thoughts and hear you out, you need to reciprocate. Then of course you too can go at it and go back and forth, but at least give them the chance to speak their mind too.
Meet in the middle
These big conversations are never easy. Talking our your individual future can be stressful, but factoring in a whole other person just takes it that much farther. Keep in mind that it takes two to tango. You aren’t always going to get your way and vice versa because relationships are about sacrifice. But the best thing you can do, whenever possible, is to meet in the middle and find a solution that makes you both happy. You may not be able to reach that middle immediately, but if you can with some time you will both walk out of that conversation happier than before. They never said relationships are easy, but if you work on them, ensure they are healthy and make sure they are open to growth, you will be set.