It Is Healthy for Couples to Discuss #MeToo
Often we don’t like to air our dirty laundry with our significant others. However, avoiding the topic doesn’t help. In my opinion, it is better to lay things out in the open from the beginning. But no secrets doesn’t necessarily mean no problems. There is a chance your partner gets a little jealous or insecure about your romantic past, but that can be talked out and smoothed over with time.
But beyond past hookups and relationships, what happens when you need to disclose something more severe and personal with your current partner? Should you jump into this or take your time? This is up to the individual. If you have been sexually assaulted or in a toxic relationship in the past, it is up to you to share when you are comfortable. However, no matter what, your partner should be supportive and know your sharing is a big deal.
With the rise of the #MeToo movement, it seems conversation are already starting in the media. So is this a good time to also bring it up with your partner? Honestly, why not. Your partner should love and support you no matter what, and you should be able to confide in them when you are comfortable. By educating your significant other, you are aiding to the movement for change.
Of course, bringing up the conversation in general is easier said then done. If it is a broad, generic conversation then it is easier. But what if you take this time to not simply talk about douchey exes, but your own personal unwelcomed sexual advances throughout your life? Personally, I think there is great value in bringing up past experiences — good and bad — with your partner because it will help them better understand you and support you.
Is it hard to do? Yes, of course it is. It is hard to be vulnerable and open about experiences that hurt you, but you can only grow stronger by talking about it. Whether it be being catcalled to actual sexual assault, your significant other shouldn’t shy away from these conversations because the conversations are happening for a reason. We need to educate those around us about what is right and wrong, your partner included.
If you partner feels uncomfortable talking about these serious matters, start off slow. Sometimes people don’t like talking about serious issues during the honeymoon stage of the relationship when everything is peachy, but over time when you are more comfortable, you should be able to have heavier discussions. And whether they like it or not, your partner should be educated and open enough to not only listen, but engage in conversation freely and openly.
It is amazing that the media has brought to life these serious issues that have been going on since the beginning of time, but it is our job to bring it up to our loved ones whether you have been through it personally or not. And over time, the conversation should be two-sided. Reality is that relationships aren’t all fun and games, so your partner should understand if you want to talk about serious issues. Don’t aspire to be vapid Barbie and Ken. Instead, be that power couple that is open, supportive and unafraid of confrontation. Have #MeToo conversations in your relationship and help other couples embrace it too.