Break Out of an Unhealthy Relationship
Unhealthy relationships are something you don’t wish upon your worst enemy. They are consuming and can truly tear someone apart. Unfortunately, we have all seen these couples, and some have also unfortunately been in those situations firsthand. Whether you are in it or just observing, it can be hard to navigate the right way out and to either ask for help or offer it to someone in need.
If you are the third party in the situation, you are left to wonder if you should butt in with your opinion at all or mind your own business. On one hand if you jump in to “save” a friend, it can appear as if you are quick to judge the situation and lose your friend’s trust and your credibility. Your friend may accuse you of being nosey or claim you don’t know the whole situation and completely shut you out. But if you say nothing, it can come back to bite you later on, and your friend can get mad that you never jumped in to help or say anything.
So what is a person to do if they find themself or a close friend in this situation? Honestly, there is no right answer. Ideally, a friend would always jump in and try their best to lend a helping hand in the right direction. But at the same time, there is a gray area where some will find it is better to first observe and then jump in. If you are too quick to tear down your friend’s relationship, you risk offending them and having them write you off.
So rather than just say they need to leave someone immediately, you might choose to back up your advice and let them know what you have observed and explain how it is concerning to you. This way you have something to back up your advice, and your friend won’t think you just hate their significant other. The reason you should do this is because often people in an abusive, unhealthy relationship don’t realize they are in one because they are too close to it. Sometimes they need that third-party perspective to save them and be supportive.
However, every relationship is different and some unhealthy relationships need immediate intervention. These situations call for you as a friend to be cautious in your approach but direct.
You want to encourage your friend to go cold turkey and drop this toxic energy by offering to be the support system they need. This means sometimes biting your tongue and not being too quick to judge when they start to tell you details of their relationship, since you want them to feel like they can tell you everything and gain their trust. But at the same time, you must be tactical and assert why you believe the relationship is unhealthy and back it up. Bring up key examples to support your claims.
This can prove to be extremely useful because being in an unhealthy relationship can sometimes make you blind to the signs. In that case, it would be helpful to have an observant friend to not only point out the issue, but give examples.
Lastly, if you find that you are the one in the unhealthy relationship, don’t be alarmed. The first step to getting help is acknowledging the situation you are in. Know you are not alone and reach out to family and friends who will offer you support and advice. The best thing you can do is remove yourself from a bad situation sooner rather than later. You don’t want to look back and think “Why did I stay?” and feel like you wasted your time on someone not worthy of it.
Be aware of your friend’s relationship, but also don’t lose sight of your’s and make sure everything is good. If not, don’t be disappointed because there are plenty of other fish in the sea that will treat you or your friend like you deserve.