Lessons From a Long-Term Relationship
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for four years now, so I’d say things are pretty serious. Throughout this relationship, my boyfriend has kept up with all my dating and relationship advice, and he asked if he could finally contribute his two cents.
According to Brandon, being in a long-term relationship has taught him a lot about what he values in a relationship. He always knew wanted the basics in a relationship, like trust, physical attraction and true love. However, Brandon also shared that there are a few characteristics he now values in a relationship that hadn’t crossed his mind until after we started dating.
Additional characteristics every relationship should have include the following:
Value of time
“I learned that time is so valuable while dating my girlfriend. She constantly likes to stay busy and always looks for a way to be productive. Sometimes this makes it harder to find time to hang out with her or even simply call her, but when she makes the effort to dedicate time just for us it makes it that much more special,” Brandon said. “Her time is valuable, so it’s meaningful when I do get the chance to spend time with her. I appreciate her time more because of this, and now understand how important it is to make time for each other. Whether it’s getting dinner or just getting a quick phone call, I know there’s a lot of other things she could be doing.”
Building off what Brandon said, time is so essential in any relationship — especially for those long distance ones! Life is so busy, so any and all time you set aside for your loved one goes a long way.
Chemistry above all else
“It’s easy to want to enter a relationship based solely on physical attractiveness. Being shallow and only looking for these features won’t help extend a relationship because at some point it will be clear there’s nothing else there,” Brandon said. “You need to truly enjoy each other’s company and hold a conversation that goes beyond surface level stuff.”
“I got lucky because my girlfriend and I find it so easy to talk to each other about nearly everything, both deep and silly, and we share the same views on so many things,” he added. “Our sense of humor is also similar, so we have no problem sitting around for hours just making each other laugh. Christina and I have tremendous chemistry and our relationship goes far beyond our physical attraction. The attraction we have for each other’s personalities is what’s going to make this relationship last forever.”
First, let’s pause and let that sink in. My boyfriend is seriously the sweetest, but on a more serious note, he is preaching the truth. Looks fade, and you need to find someone who compliments you more than just in the bedroom.
“I recently took a class on international trading that described a trade where both parties end up benefiting as a positive-sum game. That perfectly describes the relationship Christina and I have developed over the last few years,” Brandon said.
“We are both better people now than we were before we started dating each other,” he explianed. “We push each other to be the best we can be at everything and want to succeed together. Christina pushes me to finish school. I’ve always wanted to do it for myself, but she motivates me even more. I want to do it even more now so I can provide for her and our family later in life. I’m happier because of her, and I’m a much better person now more than ever before.”
Relationships are about growth. If you don’t grow together or benefit from each other in a relationship, where is it really going? If someone brings you down, you need to get out quick. Find someone who encourages you to reach for the stars.
Time, chemistry and making each other better people are new-found perspectives my boyfriend has discovered throughout our relationship, and I second everything he has shared. Relationships aren’t black and white — they are complicated and vary from person to person, however love should always be a common factor. Both parties in a relationship should strive to make one and other happy and be ready to face any challenges that may come their way. Love isn’t easy, but with the right person it seems that way.
Born and raised in Northern Virginia, Christina aspires to be a public relations professional in a big city after graduation from James Madison University. In her free time when she’s not blogging away about dating and relationships, Christina loves to go shopping, watch Netflix and play with every puppy that crosses her path.