Is the Second Time a Charm?

It is not uncommon to revisit an old flame from time to time. Maybe you are bored, or they were great in bed. Whatever the case may be, you are not alone. Plenty of people jump back into old relationships or flings. The question is whether you are back in it for a second chance of love or lust?

Second chances do work with some effort. (Photo: AVConnexions.com)

If you are in it just for fun, make sure you don’t lead the other person on into thinking things could get more serious. But if you are actually in it for the long haul, you are putting your own heart on the line. In this case, you don’t want either party to get hurt and will do anything to see that this time around works out.

So what do you need to do to make sure fate ends differently this time? There is no playbook for the perfect do-over since every relationship has its own history and struggles to overcome. However, regardless of your past, these guidelines could help your future look a little brighter:

Start from scratch

This is the hardest part. A lot of times ex-lovers want to pick up where you left off, but that is the wrong move. The relationship obviously didn’t work for a reason. You need to treat this second time around like it is brand new. Even if this means taking a few steps back, it will help you figure out what went wrong the first time and hopefully ensure it doesn’t happen again. Don’t get stuck holding on to your past or you may risk having a future together.

Reiterate your intensions

Since you are starting with a blank slate, it is best to discuss your intensions straight up. Are you looking for something serious, fun or no expectations at all? Make sure you are both on the same page. If you aren’t, you will probably run into some bumps down the road. This doesn’t mean things won’t work out again, it just means you will have to better prepare and plan on how to overcome these issues.

Over communicate

Communication is key. But seriously, over communicate if you have to. I can’t stress enough how miscommunication is the biggest cause for conflict in nearly every relationship. Don’t assume your significant other knows what you are thinking — just say it! You may not see eye to eye and maybe even argue, but at least everything will be out in the open and you can find a solution together. If you start holding things back now, things will only build up and can potentially become unfixable.

Remember to communicate effectively if you want your redo to end in love. (Photo: theinfong.com)

Do-overs have a 50/50 chance or working. You may find yourself falling into the same pattern if nothing changes. Or, you will learn to overcome any challenges that passes your way by acknowledging your past and moving on. So start new, discuss relationship goals and communicate constantly. With love and a little bit of luck, you and your significant other will work things out this time around.