Let Things Come Naturally in a Relationship
Relationships grow and change over time. Most changes occur naturally, but what happens when you try to force things?
While binge watching E! News this week, I have noticed a ton of shows include a girl trying to force their significant other into marriage or having a baby. In the end, these celebrities seem to get what they want, but what about the rest of us? If we pester our loved ones nonstop will we get what we want or push them away?
Honestly, there is no straight answer. Sometimes people are lucky and get what they want, while others get the complete opposite. It is really all a gamble in the game of love. So the real question is are you willing to risk it all, or can you wait? For me, I like to let things come naturally and don’t like to rush things, but others would argue the outcome is worth fighting for.
So how can we fight for what we want without looking too pushy? Here are some ideas to try:
If you have caught the wedding or baby bug, but don’t know how your other half feels, try dropping some hints. See how they react and whether they address it or ignore the topic completely. Dropping hinting is a casual way of bringing something up without actually making it a big deal.
Bring it up
If you have more than a bug and know that jumping to a next step in your relationship is what you need, you are going to have to bring it up. While hints are a great start, actually sitting down with your partner and talking about it will convey how serious you are. Let them know this is something you really want in the near future and hear what they have to say. If you bring it up once in a serious manner, you hopefully won’t have to be annoying and mention it all the time like you see on television. So when you choose to have this talk, take it seriously and express how you feel without sounding crazy.
When you have this serious relationship conversation, keep in mind that you may want to take this opportunity to set relationship goals. If you have been together for awhile, this is totally normal. Talking about the future will help give each of you an idea of a timeline of the next steps to look forward to in your relationship. However, I don’t suggest this for new couples. If you just started dating, talking about each others’ future together can be a major turn-off. Unless you have met someone just as crazy as you, leave relationship goal setting to veteran couples who feel like the time is right.
If you are in a serious relationship, in time it is normal to want to take things to the next level. But if time isn’t an option for you, communicate with your significant other so you try to get them on the same page. If they get on board, that is amazing. If they refuse to even talk about it, you may need to reevaluate your future with them.