Four Loko… and why you should EAT your calories and not DRINK them

A popular energy drunk… oops, I mean energy drink… amongst college coeds is causing craziness on campuses near DC, and across the country…

Several universities and college towns have recently tried to ban Four Loko, a caffeinated beverage that contains 12 percent alcohol. The negative publicity comes after the drink was linked to a string of drunken-related illnesses that led to nine college students being rushed to an emergency room.

Now, the University of Maryland’s police department in College Park wants to put out a pre-emptive smack down on the beverage, named after the Spanish word for “crazy.”

Police are urging College Park’s three liquor stores to stop selling the drink. The public safety department also issued a statement to the community warning that drinking just one 23.5-ounce can is the equivalent of downing a whole six-pack of beer.

The malt liquor’s name apparently describes the four stages of “loco” or craziness that a drinker might go through after consuming an entire can.

What? You think I’m loco?

The FOUR STAGES OF CRAZY, according to the Urban Dictionary are:

Stage 1: Tipsy (loud, might stumble, laugh)
Stage 2: Drunk (embarrassing, stumbling, slight slur)
Stage 3: Wasted (heavy slur, falling)
Stage 4: Black Out (no ability to speak, vomiting, memory loss)

And, if that isn’t enough to keep you away, then check this little ditty: each can (one serving) contains 660 calories!

660 calories per serving?!?!
I give it a thumbs down for that!
This is why you should EAT your calories, and not DRINK them.
Which brings me to a random thought:
I wonder how many pieces of pie Paula Deen could make to match the caloric equivalent of just one can of Four Loko? Hmmm…
Paula Deen getting a piece of the pie.
Oh, I can just imagine her response: “Honey, that should be easy!”
About the Author
  1. Third

    Where can I buy it in DC?

  2. Markette & Vanessa

    Hey Third, I bought the can in the photo above at a liquor store on Route 1 in College Park not too far from the U. of Md. campus. — Markette

  3. sam j

    660 calories isn't that much… smirnoff ice and similar girlie drinks have ~230cals in a 12oz bottle. 660 for 23oz isn't so extreme.

    also all that extra caffeine would help you burn it off anyway.

    Basically it's a health drink, and any sane doctor would recommend it as a great daily supplement to a working woman's diet.