Can Sex Make or Break a Relationship?
This past week, the latest season of The Bachelor started, and for the first time ever, the leading man is a virgin. Some people don’t care, but many were alarmed to hear this news. I don’t particulrly care about the man’s virginity one way or another, but I can’t deny sex is a major factor in any relationship. I mean for crying out loud, physical touch is one of the five senses!
For some, physical touch is this their top love language. (Photo: Shutterstock)
Many people have their reasons for waiting, and they are all respectable. Whether it is their religion or simply waiting for The One, it is an individual’s choice. But just the nature of sex itself is so important whether you do it before or after marriage. It is a level of intimacy that can be unmatched, and it can bring you closer to someone or even drive you away depending on whether or not you end up being compatible.
Whenever you decide to do it, there is no denying sex plays a factor in your relationship. While it should not be a focal point or the only reason you are with someone, it is important. Behind every love there is a little lust.
How can sex make or break a relationship? There is no limit. There can be a million little things or hardly any at all. But here are three major factors revolving around your sex life that can cause friction in your next or current relationship.
Having that sex talk can be awkward, but just get it over with and don’t dwell on it later. (Photo: Getty Images)
Quality
Simply put, maybe you have sex and realize you have different styles. Maybe one is lazier in bed than the other. Or the other is just super freaky and into trying new things. Whatever the case may be, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. If you are open to learning what each other likes and meeting in the middle, things can totally work out. The issue comes if one or both parties decide not to change at all and is perfectly happy being selfish in the sheets. If sex isn’t very important to you maybe you don’t care, but if it is a factor you care about, this can be a reason to end a relationship.
Quantity
While sex is cool, it is not like water or air that you need it to survive. However for some, it is pretty high up there. If your partner wants to have sex all the time and you don’t, that can cause some conflict. As time goes on, it can be more difficult to fit sex into your daily life, but if that is the case, maybe scheduling sex isn’t a terrible idea. I once had a love and relationship teacher share that advice, and while it sounds a bit odd, it works! Realistically you both probably have a busy work and life schedule, but if you like to do it and want to maintain a healthy sex life, it can help serve as a reminder to each other. But if your partner is asking for too much or vice verse, you have to meet in the middle or openly talk about it.
The past
While past partners (or nonexistent ones) can be a topic of conversation, it shouldn’t be the focus of your relationship. If you are stuck on you or your partner’s past, then there is no future. Decide whether you want to talk about your ex partners or not, and once that is over move on. There is no point in dwelling on it.
