When Once Is Not Enough
News broke Tuesday night that America’s (or at least my) favorite Kardashian – Khloe – had her world turned upside down. Her boyfriend and baby daddy, Tristan Thompson from the Cleveland Cavaliers, was exposed for the cheater that he really is. Rumors were soon confirmed with receipts of video and photo evidence that all point to the sad fact that Thompson is a unfaithful serial cheater.
This terrible news for poor Kardashian, who is expected to give birth to their daughter any day. Neither she nor Thompson have addressed the news directly, but one can only imagine the relationship turmoil they must be going through. As we all wait to see what happens next in their relationship, we can’t hep but wonder if she will ditch the douche or give him a second chance. Pregnant rapper Cardi B went through a similar scandal a couple months ago when her now finance rapper Offset was caught cheating. However instead of breaking up, she gave him another chance, and claimed she would rather try again with him than start over with a new man who will also likely cheat.
This leaves us all wondering, can cheaters ever really stop cheating? I don’t really know. I think like most relationship questions, it is a case-by-case situation. There are rules and exceptions. The rule is that a cheater will always cheat. However, the exception is the people who have had infidelity issues but learn from their mistakes and never cheat again. Rapper Jay-Z also cheated on Beyonce, but look at them now. They appear to be really happy from what we see, but who really knows?
It is definitely possible to forgive and move forward together, but it is much harder to forget. Being cheating on takes a toll on both you and your relationship, and some find it easier just to ditch dead weight and start new. This is often the hardest choice because you probably still have a lot of feelings for your significant other, but ultimately know you could never find it in you to trust them again. And a relationship without trust is bound to fall apart eventually.
However, forgiving your partner and finding a way to trust him or her again is also extremely hard to do. Being cheated on not only hurts, but is publicly humiliating. You can’t help but know that others know, and that embarrassment hurts as much as the action itself. But if you choose to forgive, you need to learn to let go. You can’t use this act of betrayal against your partner in the future if you want a future, because then you will stay stuck and not move forward together.
Ultimately it is your decision. You can choose to drop the dummy and start with a clean slate. This will be hard initially, but worth it in the end. Or you can choose to stick it out. However, if you do, it will require a lot of work, commitment and trust on both ends. It won’t happen overnight, but it can be possible. Just know it is a gamble whether or not it will happen again, but it is not impossible. Sometimes people slip up, make a mistake and actually learn from it. But other times, people are stuck in their ways and refuse to change.