Dealing with a Cheat
Some say three’s company. Others say it’s a crowd. I can only imagine being a mistress is no easy job, but every situation varies.
By now, everyone knows that Beyoncé pulled a total Beyoncé move and surprised the world yet again by dropping her sixth studio album Lemonade over the weekend. This time around, people couldn’t help but notice this album was different. It was more real and honest. Bey expresses grief and admits her husband, rapper Jay-Z, cheated on her with “Becky with the good hair.” While Becky hasn’t been revealed, rumors have already speculated.
But let’s be honest, we all know a Becky. The one who wants what she can’t have and goes after it anyway. But who’s to say all mistresses and side joints think alike? Some may be lied to or led on. Others may not even know there is someone else. Cheating is wrong regardless, but who is to blame — the innocent victim, the other lover or the person getting their cake and eating it too?
It’s evident, for now, that Bey has decided to keep her family together and forgive her husband’s infidelity. Some people would do the same, while others would never. These matters are very situational and depend on the individual. Regardless, deciding to stay or not is a very difficult decision.
If you choose to stay, know it won’t be an easy road. Some people say you should forgive, but never forget. However, that’s not the case. Something so big like cheating is a complete disregard for your relationship and breach in your trust. But if you are going to forgive your significant other, you will need to build that trust back. You can’t use the affair as leverage against your significant other forever. I know it isn’t fair, but if you want to fight to stay together the you need to ensure they are committed to change. You also need to learn to trust them again over time. If not, the affair will always be in the back of your mind and you will be miserable.
While I do give Bey kuddos for making it work, I don’t think I would have the will to stick around. If you are like me, you need to learn to detach in this situation. It will be hard because you probably still love the liar, but if you don’t see yourself able to move past the situation, it is best to move on completely. You deserve someone who will remain loyal through thick and thin, and you will find someone else once your heart mends. Just give it time. And if you have trust issues immediately afterwards, no one will blame you. But once someone else comes around, you will need to open yourself back up and not let that experience scar you from falling in love again.
In the end, you know yourself the best and are responsible for your own happiness. If you want give your relationship a second chance, go into it knowing you will have to start off with a clean slate after a really serious conversation. And if you do not want to, you are better off finding someone better down the road. Just remember, to each their own. You are fierce no matter what.