How to Fight Fair
Arguing in a relationship is completely normal and can even be healthy. You should never be afraid to speak your mind within your relationship. Practice makes perfect, and no one finds themselves in a perfect relationship without some bumps along the road. But how much or how little you argue determines whether it’s constructive or pointless, and can make or break your relationship.
You should aspire to have open communication with your significant other. You shouldn’t be afraid to speak your mind if you find yourself unhappy or unsatisfied at any point in your relationship. You need to solve the problem before it becomes unfixable. Just like Taylor Swift’s song Bad Blood, Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes. So rather than letting everything build up and become impossible to fix, speak up whenever you are unhappy in your relationship. That way you can overcome any struggle and learn from it.
But there’s a significant difference between constructive criticism and nagging. If you and your significant other fight constantly and nothing ever changes, you may just be beating a dead horse. Nagging one another will not fix any problem, no matter how big or small. You need to work on collaborating with your partner to find a solution and not compete with each other. If your relationship revolves on whose right all the time, you’re going nowhere. A relationship is not a competition, it’s a team and you’re both on the same side. So stop pointing fingers all the time and focus that energy on how you can solve the problem together. Remember, teamwork makes the dream work.
So how do you go about arguing with a level head rather than just wanting to rip off each other’s heads? Here are a few tips on fighting fair that will help you stop arguing and actually solve your relationship problems.
Recognize the problem
Figure out what’s really bothering you. Isolate the problem and figure out how you want to handle the problem. Present the problem to your partner sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the more it will continue to bother you without them even knowing.
Calm your emotions
It’s hard to remove your emotions from the problem. When you talk about what’s bothering you, try to stay cool, calm and collected. If you let your emotions run the conversation, it will turn into a full blown fight. Emotions are natural and should be acknowledged, just don’t let them overwhelm you in an argument. You need to stay open minded and willing to work things out.
Kiss and make up
Once everything is said and done, remind each other why you’re together. Either watch a movie and cuddle, or go out for drinks and have good time. Now that the problem is in the past, enjoy the present. And don’t hold onto to any unfinished business. If that’s the case, reopen the discussion until the problem is completely solved and the two of you can move on.
Don’t bottle up your emotions and know they are real. Bring up any concerns you have to your partner in a calm, yet stern manner. Stop pointing the finger of blame and argue with constructive criticism in mind so that you can grow stronger from your lowest points, not stay there. And for everyone’s sake, don’t nag. That will get you nowhere and single sooner rather than later.
Born and raised in Northern Virginia, Christina aspires to be a public relations professional in a big city after graduation from James Madison University. In her free time when she’s not blogging away about dating and relationships, Christina loves to go shopping, watch Netflix and play with every puppy that crosses her path.