Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?
Typically when someone asks for your number, the first thing that comes to mind is your cell and not the number of sex partners you’ve had. So what do you do when you find yourself in that awkward position in your relationship?
According to sex expert Tracey Cox, it’s best to take your real number to the grave. “No matter how many people you’ve slept with, it will always be too many.”
Reality is that Cox may be on to something. It’s important to know your own past for health reasons, but that doesn’t mean everyone else needs to know. All you partner needs to know is whether or not you’re STD free, and not a play-by-play of past lovers.
According to The Lancet, the U.K. medical journal, the average number of sex partners is eight for women and 10 for men. But if you’re number is above that, don’t be ashamed. You do you and be proud. You are out there living your life, and if people don’t like it, who cares?
But, if you find yourself not caring except for when it comes to being honest with you’re partner, know that you’re also not alone there. Women especially find themselves lying about their number simply to avoid judgement from their partner. So what’s a girl to do?
Here are a few ways to handle your past with your future:
So you’ve decided to lying is the way to go, but not completely. You and your partner decided to give each other a range and that’s it. This way you have a general idea of each other’s past, but you avoid the nasty details that will surly piss you off. So no matter what, don’t reveal the whole truth, just enough to leave ease your minds.
Let it go
If you’re going to let it out, just know it won’t be easy. If you’re taking this path you need to fully commit. When you talk it out, make sure to get it all out. Yes, that includes every dirty detail. Be prepared for a fight, because naturally this conversation is bound to be a disaster. There is a rainbow at the end of the storm though. After you talk it all out, you’ll have nothing else to hide. That feeling is such a relief, and you’ll find yourself laughing at other couples that choose to keep it all in.
Vow of Silence
Agree that you and your partner won’t talk details. This is easier said than done, but ignorance is bliss. So let any curiosity die, and just focus on each other.
Ultimately, your number is a private matter, and it’s up to the individual to decide whether or not to reveal it. If you want to share your number, there’s no shame in that. Promiscuity doesn’t align with your number at all, because it doesn’t take into account how long you’ve been sexually active or your story. Someone’s number might be 20, but depending on their age, that can be only one or two partners a year. Whether someone with the number eight could have acquired half that number over a wild weekend.
Born and raised in Northern Virginia, Christina aspires to be a public relations professional in a big city after graduation from James Madison University. In her free time when she’s not blogging away about dating and relationships, Christina loves to go shopping, watch Netflix and play with every puppy that crosses her path.