Creating True Connections
In our current age of technology, it seems we always have a screen or two in front of our face. Whether it be a Blackberry, iPhone, iPad or laptop, it’s hard to disconnect. But could this be affecting your love life?
Disconnecting from your phone can be great. (Illustraion: Jennine Estes/Relationships in the Raw)
I have recently noticed several couples out on dates that are sitting together, dining and yet are separated by their phones. They’re texting, Tweeting, Facebooking and checking emails. They’re making connections, but not with each other. Just five to 10 years ago, checking your phone on a date would have seemed rude, but now it seems to be the norm.
Pursue the spark
The problem with allowing this connection to technology pervade our relationships is that we are missing out on opportunities to create true human connection. The idea of a date is that two people interested in each other meet up to pursue this spark. If you are both on your phones, you are not really putting wood into the fire to keep it going.
Although it’s nice to send each other texts throughout the day, when you are on a date, be present. Put your phone away and pay attention to the other person in front of you. If you do not talk that much during your date, you aren’t really getting to know each other, which means you are not creating a foundation for a potential relationship. Without having a solid foundation, you will be facing problems down the road if you choose to become more serious with each other.
Appreciate the date
If you are already in a relationship, constantly using your phone on dates is even worse. Communication is key in relationships. A lot can be lost or misinterpreted via text messages and Facebook, and can lead to fights. It is important to have a lot of face-to-face time (even if it is through video chat for those doing long distance). However, sitting in front of each other texting does not count as face-to-face time.
Also, dates are an important part of a relationship because they keep things fresh. Sometimes, couples can become stuck in the rut of daily routine and become so engrossed in daily life that dates can really make the difference in the relationship. Thus, these dates should be cherished and not spent Tweeting pictures of your food to your friends.
When on a date with your significant other, put your phone away. It sounds tough but you will be fine. Two hours of disconnection will not be as bad as you think. Plus, who knows? Maybe you’ll make more meaningful connections with the cutie sitting next to you.
