How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship
Breakups play a large role in dating and relationships. A little over 40 percent of couples in the United States seek divorce, many of which can have very messy endings. However, relationship media expert, Frank Love’s recently published book, How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship offers personal advice to all individuals regardless of current relationship statuses.
I found his book to be very genuine. Although Love has received no former relationship dynamics training, which he makes clear at the beginning of the book, he gives his authentic perspective based on his own relationship experiences and those he has witnessed from individuals around him. This made the book as a whole very endearing. It was similar to having a conversation with a good friend that gives great advice.
State of the marriage
Although I do not want to give too much of the book away, one of my favorite parts of the book was the idea of having a “State of the Union” address with your partner. The idea behind this is that you and your partner pick one date out of the year to sit down and candidly discuss what is going well and not so well in your relationship. He is not suggesting that you only speak about this during that one day, but that it be a time that you are both on the same page about discussing the successes and opportunities of your relationship. It’s a simple idea, but one that I had never considered. If implemented correctly, I think that this could be an extremely successful part of a long-term relationship.
The book also opened my eyes to the idea of setting precedent for a breakup. As a young 20-something, it is fairly certain that my dates in the next few months will not be with “the one.” And even if I ended up falling in love and marrying one of these guys, as Love pointed out, people divorce or die and it is important that you are mentally prepared for this. He suggested that as a couple, you sit down and discuss the possible breakup in the early stages of a relationship. I have never discussed the possibility of a breakup with anyone I’ve dated and I have certainly never told my date how I would like to be dumped or ask him how he would like me to dump him. Yet, Love is on to something with that idea. It would be much less painful if both partners know that there is a possibility that the breakup is coming and that they both understand each other’s personalities and respect boundaries. Perhaps if I had done this with previous partners, I would not have as many horrible breakup stories as I do now.
What about singles?
My only issue with the book is that it is much geared towards married couples, and I’m not at that stage in my life yet so I was left with a few questions for those of us still waiting. The chapter about breaking the news of divorce to your children was pretty lost on me. I’m not sure my dog would want to sit down long enough for my ex-boyfriend and me to explain to her why it is that he is leaving the picture. However, the advice given is very sound advice for real parents.
Overall, Love did a great job with his new book. It was thought-provoking and left me with a new-found sense of hope for my next relationship and breakup. To order a copy, visit his website at http://franklove.net/.