Requirements for a New Relationship
We all have them — things we refuse to compromise on in a relationship. Though often little, our non-negotiable items are a big deal and reveal a lot about us.
“Must love dogs.” Classic. Implies you’re easy going.
“A non-smoker.” Understandable. Suggests you’re health conscious (even if only casually health conscious).
“Has similar spiritual beliefs.” Common. Says, “I want to have one less thing to fight about.”
Must Love Dogs movie poster and a common requirement when dating. (Photo courtesy Warner Bros.)
These are all pretty relatable non-negotiables. What happens though, when you have some not-so-common ones?
I stumbled upon this “private” email that became an open letter to on the Huffington Post last week. Full of one surgeon’s list of must-haves for his future wife, the list includes things like “Skinny (i.e. dress size 0-2…” and “An 8 out of the 1-10 scale…”
The list includes more very specific and rightly(?) described “outrageous requirements” that have nothing to do with dogs, smoking or spirituality.
This surgeon’s requirements wouldn’t make my top 10 (or top 11) list of non-negotiables, but it did get me wondering what mine would actually be. The first I came up with “Can’t be dramatic.” The second was “Has to believe in a higher power.”
Things got a little tough at this point because drafting a list of your non-negotiables makes you question more than what type of person you’re looking for but why you’re looking for that type of person. Who will fit into to the type of life you’re dreaming up and crafting for yourself?
