Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

Typically when someone asks for your number, the first thing that comes to mind is your cell and not the number of sex partners you’ve had. So what do you do when you find yourself in that awkward position in your relationship?

Don’t let your number consume your life. (Photo: www.marieclaire.com)

According to sex expert Tracey Cox, it’s best to take your real number to the grave. “No matter how many people you’ve slept with, it will always be too many.”

Reality is that Cox may be on to something. It’s important to know your own past for health reasons, but that doesn’t mean everyone else needs to know. All you partner needs to know is whether or not you’re STD free, and not a play-by-play of past lovers.

According to The Lancet, the U.K. medical journal, the average number of sex partners is eight for women and 10 for men. But if you’re number is above that, don’t be ashamed. You do you and be proud. You are out there living your life, and if people don’t like it, who cares?

But, if you find yourself not caring except for when it comes to being honest with you’re partner, know that you’re also not alone there. Women especially find themselves lying about their number simply to avoid judgement from their partner. So what’s a girl to do?

Here are a few ways to handle your past with your future:

White lie

So you’ve decided to lying is the way to go, but not completely. You and your partner decided to give each other a range and that’s it. This way you have a general idea of each other’s past, but you avoid the nasty details that will surly piss you off. So no matter what, don’t reveal the whole truth, just enough to leave ease your minds.

Let it go

If you’re going to let it out, just know it won’t be easy. If you’re taking this path you need to fully commit. When you talk it out, make sure to get it all out. Yes, that includes every dirty detail. Be prepared for a fight, because naturally this conversation is bound to be a disaster. There is a rainbow at the end of the storm though. After you talk it all out, you’ll have nothing else to hide. That feeling is such a relief, and you’ll find yourself laughing at other couples that choose to keep it all in.

Vow of Silence

Agree that you and your partner won’t talk details. This is easier said than done, but ignorance is bliss. So let any curiosity die, and just focus on each other.

Don’t let past hookups haunt you into the bedroom. (Photo: www.marmalade.hu)

Ultimately, your number is a private matter, and it’s up to the individual to decide whether or not to reveal it. If you want to share your number, there’s no shame in that. Promiscuity doesn’t align with your number at all, because it doesn’t take into account how long you’ve been sexually active or your story. Someone’s number might be 20, but depending on their age, that can be only one or two partners a year. Whether someone with the number eight could have acquired half that number over a wild weekend.

So you’ve been steadily hooking up with your summer romance, and as great as it has been summer is nearly over. You are stuck at a crossroad. Do you dump and dash, or DTR (define the relationship)?

With summer winding down, will you dump your summer fling or take it to the next level.? (Photo: www.woman.tv)

Realistically most friends with benefits do not transition well to friends with a title. Most people are afraid to be tied down and stay monogamous. Who wouldn’t be? Friends with benefits ensures that you get the goods and leave out all the hard stuff like feelings and titles. Would people go to college if it was all party and no school, but you still got a degree? The answer is without a doubt yes. No long boring classes or tedious assignments, yet you would get the same perks of a college degree and fun. This is the same case with relationships. They are complicated. So when you simplify it from the beginning, why voluntarily make it harder.

There’s not to say there are no exceptions to this rule: I am living proof. I was lucky enough to DTR last summer with my summer romance. For the sake of making him seem more complex and mysterious, let’s call him Mr. Big (my ode to Sex and the City). Big and I started off as friends then progressed to friends with benefits. I had planned on doing the dump and dash myself, but I really fell for Big and he fell for me. We have been dating for over a year now, and its been absolutely magical. Unfortunately most people do not have this happy ending. From my experience as a wild 20-something, it is best to be the dumper and dasher before you get dumped and dashed yourself.

So save the tears, put on your big girl panties and dump the dude. In an interpersonal class, I learned that relationships that begin in a hook up atmosphere do not transcend well into a romantic relationship.

It time to breakup or step up. (Photo: thethingsilearnedfrom.com)

According to hookingupsmart.com, “Average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in ‘hookups,’ ‘friends with benefits,’ or casual dating relationships.”

Is it all worth the risk? The numbers are not on your side, so enjoy one last hook up, a free meal, and let your summer romance go. Do not think twice, because then you will question yourself. Just think, fall is around the corner and that is the time to truly fall in love. This hook up is realistically going no where, and that’s science.

For those of you who are risky enough to try, jump for it! I aimed high, but had low expectations, and it surprisingly worked. Be prepared for the unknown and keep your options open, you owe yourself that much.

California. It’s home to the start-up capital of the country. It’s where Silicon Valley resides and venture capitalists thrive. New York. It’s where you follow the money. Wall Street meets couture culture and the cutting edge. And D.C.? Well, when we think of D.C. our first thoughts aren’t necessarily of risk-taking entrepreneurs making investments in style.

For all the political power and intercontinental clout held within the nation’s capital, D.C. is still a fairly risk-averse city. Start ups and innovation have not been characteristic features of the District. The ever-dependable and innumerable government agencies that support the livelihoods of many a government contractor or security specialist have come to identify the city and have shape its growth. The recent downfall of our economy and subsequent public spending scrutiny, however, may have inadvertently fueled District denizens to think outside the realm of public parlays to pursue private passions.

Beautiful Washington, D.C. (Liz Parker/DC on Heels)

Those who are culturally attuned and have their fingers on the pulse of the city know that D.C. has been on the cusp of change the past few years. There is a growing energy and dynamism that is causing it to change in exciting ways. One way in which this change has manifested is in the new combinations of business and creativity. Take Silvia Huezo for example. She’s a local designer who started a basement shop in 2010 and is now the proud owner of two Red Hue Boutiques, contemporary women’s boutiques inspired by vintage aesthetics. It carries a variety of independent labels and brands as well as Huezo’s own private label.

D.C. fashion photographer Phil Kogan introduced me to Huezo and invited me to tag along for a shoot featuring Red Hue designs. We met at the Rockville Town Square boutique where Catherine Ho, Miss Vietnam D.C. 2012 and our model that day, was being prepped with hair, makeup and outfits. Then we were off to Glenview Mansion to capture the looks.

After spending the day admiring the contrast between the vintage/modern looks and the mansion’s garden greenery and stone archways, I wanted to learn more about the woman behind it all. I sent Huezo some questions as to why D.C., what inspires her, trends she’s looking forward to and fashion advice for the D.C. metro woman. Here are her answers along with some behind-the-scenes photos:

The first look. Catherine Ho in a Red Hue jean tie top and printed skirt dress. (Photos by Liz Parker & Phil Kogan)

DC on Heels: Can you tell me a little bit about how and why you started Red Hue Boutique?

Silvia Huezo: I started Red Hue as a small basement shop down the street from University of Maryland in College Park and later relocated to Rockville Town Square. I wanted to start my own clothing line and figured if I had a retail location I would have higher chances of selling my own label. It was always my dream to see women trying on my designs and even better walking out of a store having purchases my designs and with Red Hue I have made that dream a reality.

DCOH: Why did you choose to stay local? What do you like about being in the D.C. metro area?

S.H.: I love the metro D.C. area! We are such a diverse area. I wanted to stay in a more suburban setting because I felt we needed uniqueness and originality. D.C. is more boutique-oriented than suburban Maryland, but I did feel there was a void that needed to be filled. It’s always big box stores or malls around here, so it’s nice to have a unique and independently owned shop where prices are still competitive.

Red Hue red dress. (Liz Parker/DC on Heels)

DCOH: What are the inspirations for your latest designs? Did you have any favorite spring/summer trends?

S.H.: My spring/summer line was very much inspired by berry colors and vintage aesthetics. Some styles were inspired by starlets of past eras like Grace Kelly. Some pieces are very tailored and form fitting while others are breezy and forgiving. A great combination for a collection aimed at the average woman! One of my favorite summer trends is the maxi dress. I incorporated that into my line as well.

DCOH: Are there any looks you’re excited to see in the fall?

S.H.: Since we also carry other brands here at Red Hue, I am especially excited for shoes this fall! Boots, boots, boots! And in regards to our private label we are bringing very practical winter knits that will keep you looking cute even when it’s cold!

The white looks. Peplum white dress with jewels. Long chiffon white skirt with turqouise top. (Liz Parker/DC on Heels)

DCOH: Do you have any general fashion advice for women in this area?

S.H.: I think most women in this area are not afraid to take risks when it comes to color, but we are afraid to take risks when it comes to certain trends. We love our Ann Taylors and White House Black Markets where basics are king. And although I suggest always having great basics, it’s also great to experiment with statement pieces. A blazer with an interesting print. Or a necklace with bright gems and interesting shapes. And once in a while a totally unique top paired with basic pencil pants and flats. Really try to incorporate fun pieces into your basic wardrobe.

(Team members: Catherine Ho, model; Phil Kogan, photographer; LeRoy Armstead, production and lighting; Malinda Walker, makeup.)